


Make Total Destroy

by bluescrawny



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Timeline, Empire Kids, Empire Siblings - Freeform, Ep 122, Hurt/Comfort, beau centric, ish, just a lot of angst yall im sorry, no beta we die like man, post ep 122
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:22:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29015043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluescrawny/pseuds/bluescrawny
Summary: I took the ending of ep 122 and made it even angstier.(SPOILER C2X122)"Beau noticed her hands were shaking but that didn’t matter at the moment. No. No. The dream. The void. The fear. Her heart was racing and her mind went blank, blocking anything around her, trying to  go back to the memories of that weird dream, trying to grasp  every single detail before she could forget. Trying to put everything into words. The dark. The screams. The nothingness. "
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, Beauregard Lionett & The Mighty Nein, Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, The Mighty Nein & Caleb Widogast
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	Make Total Destroy

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, first time writing about cr.  
> Hope you guys like it.  
> The ending of this episode messed me up so I had to lol  
> Is it Thursday yet bc I'm **stressed.**  
>  Btw English is not my first language so take that into account.  
> Let me know if you like it.

Beau woke up abruptly. Her chest felt heavy as her breath got stuck on her throat. She lifted her arm to her chest, trying to calm down the heart inside her body. Well, it wasn’t working as well as she hoped. 

She looked around her, around the room. Yasha’s room. The soft snoring in different tones echoed through the walls, her friends sprawled on their blankets and mattresses on the floor. Some worried frowns pasted over their serene features after a tense night.

The room was dark, but her eyes darted frantically from face to face, unable to stand still for more than half a second. Everything around her seemed to come into focus as quickly as it blurred out of it, the room spun around her body, if she wasn't aware that they were miles and miles away from the sea, she would swear she was inside a boat. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, burying her head into her hands but the motion sickness didn’t seem to stop.

“That’s rare” Beau heard a deep voice break the silence of the room. Her eyes shot up quickly to that direction and to the movement on her side, she noticed Caleb sitting straight up on the floor. Fuck, she forgot Fjord offered up to do first watch and wasn't in the pile with the rest of the nein. His head turned nervously between her and Caleb ”What happened? Are you alri---” 

“Shhhshshhhhhhhh” Beauregard hissed loudly, her brain seemed to turn on suddenly and her body started to move almost by itself. Automatic. Her hands grabbed her notebook and brought up to her lap, the monk noticed her hands were shaking but that didn’t matter at the moment. No. No. The dream. The void. The fear. Her heart was racing and her mind went blank, blocking anything around her, trying to go back to the memories of that weird dream, trying to grasp every single detail before she could forget. Trying to put everything into words. The dark. The screams. The nothingness. 

“Beauregard?”

A high pitched noise started to ring in her ears and it only got louder as the seconds went by. Maybe minutes? No. **Focus.** She couldn’t forget the details. Dreams come and go so fast and this could be the breakthrough they needed so bad. To stop this mess and save everyone, to save Yasha, Jester, all her friends. To get Molly back. The eye. The voice. Welcome. Welcome. WELCOME. WEL----

 **“BEAUREGARD”** hand grabbed her wrist, her eyes shot up to stare back at the blue eyes of the wizard by her side. He looked worried, sweat starting to form on his forehead and sides of his face. She opened her mouth to question him as she tried to pull her arm away but his grip was firm, the wizard's eyes went down and his head tilted on that same direction as an invitation for her to do the same. And she did.

“Fuck” Beau said under her breath. She had seen that same image so many times through the year that had gone by, but it felt weird to see it on her own body. The big red eye stared back at her, almost mockingly. She frowned and exchanged a meaningful look with Caleb “This is bad. This is...” The phrase trailed off as the monk quickly grabbed the wizard's hand and flipped them around, expecting to see another set of red eyes there but his skin was clear, only old scars and calluses rested there. Her brow furrowed even more, she wasn’t even sure it was possible. Her heart was beating so hard in her chest that she was sure that the noise of it beating against her chest alone would wake everyone in the room.

Beau felt sweat growing on the back of her neck and her palms were soaked. Panic started to rise considerably in her chest, it almost felt like it was something solid that she could physically feel rising from her torso to her neck to her head. **Fuck.** What if she was the only one with this fucking shit. Her eyes shot back to the eye on the back of her hand. What if she was the only one caught in mess. What if....

Without a single word exchanged, Caleb began to search her body for more red eyes. He went straight to her neck, she felt his fingers over her tattoo and with a loud sigh of relief he let go. 

“Now let me check yours” The same was done with Caleb but nothing was found, He started to take off his jacket, his shirt. It didn't take long to find the eye, it was stamped proudly on his shoulder. Beau felt a sense of relief that didn't last even half a second... because she wasn't relieved. No. Caleb was in this too. And that's bad, that's the last thing she'd wish for him. Beau felt her heart drop and her stomach turn. She felt extremely nauseated.

“ha. Há. Há” Caleb laughed sarcastically.

“Fuck” Beau cursed under her breath as her hand went through her hair frantically. “fuck” she repeated more desperately and louder than before. Her voice cracking. She crouched down and grabbed her head with both hands, her fingers burying tightly against her own scalpel “This can’t be fucking happening ” 

“What’s going on?” Beau heard a murmur behind her but she wasn't sure who said it. Everything was muffled. The voice felt miles away. “What’s going on?” This time the voice closer and more urgent. “Caleb! Your shoulder”

Beau heard murmurs around the room growing as her friends were waking up, but her brain simply was unable to focus on any of them. At this point the voices were just white noise. She looked up, Caleb was staring at the eye on his shoulder, lost in his own world. He was slipping away. Caduceus and Jester’s hands touched his torso but the wizard was so out of it, so absorbed in his own head to react and take any notice of it. This seemed to comfort Beau a tiny bit. Not enough to make any of her muscles relax or her brain start working again, but enough to make her feel less like a fuck up for having a full break down in this crowded room.

“Beau?” Yasha’s gentle voice came into her ears as she rested a hand on the monks back making her jump “sorry, I thought you heard me before. Are you here with me?”

Beau slightly nodded, if Yasha hadn’t her eyes so closely focused on her, she probably would've missed.

“Can you get up?” Yasha waited a few moments for a reply that never came “What happened? Are you hurt?” The barbarian waited some more but received silence in return. She swallowed hard. Yasha shared a worried look with Jester that was trying to get through Caleb but wasn’t having any more luck than her.  
She returned her attention to the woman crouched in front of her, Beau’s eyes were trained on the wooden floor, they were blank. She was far away and that filled Yasha’s heart with agony. She leaned closer to the monk putting their foreheads together and whispered, her voice trembling and quiet “Beau, please say something. Anything. I’m worried"

“I---” Beau started but stopped soon after. She swelled audibly and looked into Yasha’s eyes, a humorless chuckle came out of her lips as she lift her hand, showing the glowing red eye that sat there.

“Fuck” Yasha gasped

“I know” 

Beau closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on her breathing, trying to make her heart beat slower on her chest out of pure will but her brain was way too chaotic for that at the moment, Beau sighed loudly and opened her eyes, her sight fell instantly on her notebook that was opened on the floor. She picked up and brought it closer. The page she had just written her dream, all the details she tried so hard to put into words, just... wasn’t there. Instead, the page was filled with scratches and words and figures she wasn’t fully sure what it meant. Some doodles that was way too abstract to grasp the meaning of it. She shook her head slowly as Yasha tried to peek over her head at the content of the book. Beau broke the contact between her and Yasha and instantly brought the little notebook closer to her chest. Her eyes wide. “You can't see this.”

“What” Yasha replied softly and then added quickly “Why Beau?”

“I--- uh, fuck. This was.... Look I wrote the dream down.”

“What dream----”

 _“But that’s not it.”_ Beau cut her off “This is... I don’t know what this is but it ain't that” Yasha put a hand on her shoulder and then on her arm and brought it down. Beau only noticed that her hands were going through her hair so fast and frantic when Yasha touched her skin. She wasn't breathing.

“Breathe. Please” Yasha murmured.

“okay. Okay. Okay. Okay” Beau said taking a few slow breaths in and then letting it out. After a few moments she said “This looks just like the book” Yasha just looked at her attentively “Lucien’s book and I can’t... I can’t risk this happening to you too. I just... can't.” Beau took a good look at Yasha, she tried to smile at her but she wasn’t sure what came out of that effort. She bit her lips and looked down before standing up.

Beau put a hand on Caleb’s shoulder and that seemed to bring him back to reality. He shook his head slightly before looking at her and then at their friends.

“oh no, Beau?” Jester said lifting Beau's hand from Caleb’s shoulder and enveloping it with her own. Her face contorted with worry. From Jester’s hands a soft glow started to shine, a faint green light flickered a couple of times before disappearing. “I’m out of fucking spells. Great!” Her voice growing higher in tone and volume as she said the last word, frustration clearly dominating the tiefling's senses. She shook her head and cursed under her breath. 

“We need to get out of here” Caduceus said to Veth but the room was quiet so his voice echoed through it. Everyone looked into his direction.

“Our casters didn’t sleep enough” Fjord took a step towards the center of the room “we wont be able to r----”

“He's right though” Veth said, her voice loud and firm. “We need to go now. Dont look back. Just go.”

“What’s even the fucking point” Beau started but stopped soon after as she felt everyone staring at her. She looked up to the ceiling trying to put herself back together before continuing. She brought her hand up, close to her face so everyone could see it.“He’ll be able to see it. We can’t run. Not anymore. He’ll just be there too. So what’s the fucking point?”

“What do you suggest then?”

She looked towards Caleb and then back down “I don’t know.”

“Then let’s go” Veth said more urgently than before. Caleb opened his mouth but closed soon after when Veth took his hands on her own, making small circles with her thumb. He looked down towards her before crouching down in front of the halfling “We can get to Essek. He'll know what to do. Don’t give up yet. Not without a fight.”

Caleb nodded and got back up. He looked around the room, his eyes going through each person standing there, his eyes lingering when he got to the last person. They shared a moment. He didn’t have to say what was on his mind because it was on hers as well. she could understand it. Beau just nodded back at him.

“let’s go then” He said.

“Do you... don’t you....” Fjord started “if you leave, will the tower * poof * out of existence?”

“Nein”


End file.
